Getting tired of waiting.

for the new normal. 

An excerpt from a book summed up the first half year of grief. It also pointed the way forward, through empathy with, and care for, others.

The

But survival is not enough.

Since the funeral, in December 2019, I have tried to maintain contact with the few social networks that remained during Eamonn's final months. It was hard, but I made the effort - I went to Ukulele sessions on Thursday afternoons; I walked the dog when weather permitted; I had friends round for tea and a chat. I even went to Southwold, as planned, for our 51st anniversary. I tried to keep busy.  I had counselling sessions at the Garden Hospice. I was beginning to go out more and socialise.

Then, lockdown arrived and isolation began and I had to stay at home.


Throughout the next 12 months, new projects began to emerge, including gardening, campervan, and   reaching out to others who felt the same.

'T'is the Season

to tend the garden and plant new seeds

 

Last year, working in the garden really helped me through the early stage of grieving. I needed physical activity that also required thought and planning. A garden-makeover provided that and more. Along with the activity of getting back to the bare bones of the garden, I found a new therapeutic activity - growing some fresh produce of my own to use in home-cooked meals.

I had good crops of strawberries, tomatoes, lettuces and herbs. From June to the end of October, I had fresh salad every day from my own garden.

The garden also became a Memorial. I added plants that reminded me of Eamonn, to those already in the garden.

Clematis                 Beautiful mind

Dogwood                Stability, determination, kindness, devotion

Eucalyptus              Leadership, clarity, goals, focus and healing

HOLLY                   Defense; Domestic Happiness and security

Honesty                   Lunaria-annua symbolises honesty and sincerity

IVY                          Wedded Love; Fidelity; Friendship; Affection

Rosemary                Remembrance

Sea Holly                 Independence, severity and attraction

Sedum:                     Tranquility

Thistle                       Bravery, courage, and loyalty in the face of treachery

I had an Arbour seat erected and painted to serve as my personal Memorial to Eamonn, in the garden. It was painted and decorated as a reminder of the beach huts of which we were so fond. The old narrowboat's sea anchor is propped against the side; Eamonn's favourite plant ( Fuschia) sits alongside the arbour. A little Ratty (Earmonn's boating persona) stands beside the plant-pot with Eamonn's favourite plant - a fuschia.

Last year, on the anniversary of my father's death, I planted a Physic garden in his memory. I've always wanted to grow my own medicinal plants. My father was very knowledgeable about them, despite being a born-and-bred Mancunian. His grandmother lived in the foothills of the Pennines and it was from her that he learned all about plants and nature.

The Physic Garden has done very well, although I have lost some of the more tender plants (lemon verbena and echinacea) and woodland plants (foxglove) 

I have some ideas about how to replace them. Last month's Gardener's World Magasine had some free echinacea seeds that I will sow in the conservatory nursery later this year. 

Meanwhile, the Spring Equinox is almost upon us. I am getting great joy from the bulbs I planted last year. The crocus have put on a grand show in their first year of blooming, 

as have the brilliant white  anemones.

The views of the garden are much changed from last year. It is more open and more colourful. The view from the corner where the dogswood has just been pruned is testimony to the hard work put in by various workmen, myself, and my gardener, Bex.

In addition to bulbs that will bloom later in the year, the borders are showing new growth of plants that were buried for some years, beneath the tangle of shrubs and trees.

From the conservatory, there is evidence of new growth, inside and out.

The lawn, with its wildflower patch and clumps of crocus brings me great joy, as do the glimpses of new growth in the borders.

The windowsill inside the house is home to the nursery of seedlings that will later be planted out in various parts of the garden.

The newly-purchased houseplants add similar comfort to the interior living space.

Gardening is part of the new me. It brings me comfort, provides structure to my day, and puts delicious food on the table. Time, indeed to tend the garden and sow some seeds. It is egocentric to wish that someone will provide the flowers for me.

Planting Part Three of the Physic Garden

Short video taken at the end of today's Planting Party Event. Therecwere two of us. My friend, Rita planted all the physic garden plants. I couldn't keep up with her. Spent the afternoon watering and clearing/cleaning up afterwards. Needed a soak in a lavender bath.

Alf was exhausted at the end of a long day, during which he'd repelled all wildlife from the new plants and warning the dachshund, Tilly, next door, not to try jumping over the fence to see what we were doing.

Here he is fast asleep in Eamonn's chair; he hadn't even asked for his dinner and it was getting late.










This video was taken at the end of the day, just as lthe sun was setting behind the crab apple tree. I'm very happy with the way the garden is developing and the impact it is having on my sense of well-being.

Physic Garden - Part Two

The planting has begun in earnest and the Garden Memorial is already in its spot at the front of the border. Just awaiting the Memorial Plaque to go with it.

Many of the plants have been soaking in the shade in the wheelbarrow over the weekend.

The scent is divine. There's Lemon Verbena and Lemon Balm, green and bronze fennel, three different varieties #(height and colour) of Digitalis, in addition to some oregano and thyme.

There's Ecinacea Sombrero, Salsa Red, already place in its planting spot, towards the back of the border. Unfortunatelu, it couldn't be put there because of the tree roots covering the area.

Sombrero salsa red is a compact, bushy, clump-forming perennial to 60cm tall with hairy, oval leaves. Flowers borne from summer into autumn are up to 7.5cm in diameter with drooping and overlapping bright red to deep orange ray florets surrounding a sombrero-shaped, orange-brown central cone.

Testing out the places for various plants before my volunteer arrives on Monday morning.

A physic garden - Part One

Some years after we moved to Hitchin,  I discovered the Physic Garden. It was planted in 1990 and is still tended by a dedicated team of gardeners. A book was published for the 25th anniversary of the garden's opening. I have a copy of the book, which is invaluable as I plan my own mini physic garden.

I've been fascinated by medicinal plants since being a small child. My Dad, despite the fact that he was born and raised in the centre of Manchester, was very knowledgeable. His maternal grandmother lived in Glossop, in the Pennines. He often visited her and she taught him all she knew about the old herbal remedies. He was a real Lancashire Lad. He and Eamonn got on very well. It was Dad who knew that this was the man I would marry, when I brought Eamonn home to Manchester at Easter 1969, just a month after we had met.  I had no idea - young and clueless.

This year is the 25th anniversary of my Dad, Thomas' death.

The motivation for planting this physic garden was the unearthing of three medicinal plants, after the border was cleared earlier this year.

Violet (small leaves at the front of the border.

Feverfew (golden leaves with daisy-like flowers)

Aquiligia (behind the feverfew)

I researched the plants that are suitable for the soil and aspect of this part of the garden. A local plant nursery provided the ones that I couldn't find online.

The plant label at the back, near the fence-post. is between two roots of white Valerian given to me by the nursery because it was impossible to find anywhere.

Three digitalis plants are in place, still in their pots as there hasn't been time to plant those yet.

Some of the other plants I wanted were sourced online. When I unpacked them, the scent of the green and bronze fennel filled the air.

The parcel also contained

Lemon Verbena
Lemon Balm
Hyssop
Vervain
Oregano

All are waiting for the end to the extreme heat, soaking in rain-water in the wheel-barrow, and moving to follow the shade.

I also have some lavender and rosemary cuttings that will find a suitable place in the physic garden.






The plot will be dedicated to my Dad, on 12th August, the 25th anniversary of his death.

I have ordered a memorial plaque that can be 'planted' in the ground.

Alongside it, I am making a garden statue, from a granite Mortar and Pessle, bought online. It will sit on top of a large stone that looks as though it was part of some steps (also unearthed when the border was cleared). I have yet to find the right spot for it.

This idea was from the Monument in the Hitchin Physic Garden.