Year Two

And so I have survived my first year as a widow.  Not only am I still standing, but I found myself caring, passionately, about something other than my grief - the outcome of the US election for one. Life goes on. 

I  had a nightmare last night (nothing new in that) in which everyone expected me to move on. It has been a year, after all. But what a dreadful year, made worse by the pandemic and two (so far) Lockdowns. 

I've been reading the contents of some of Eamonn's boxes. He was a great thinker. No only did he think, he wrote down his thoughts - probably to help get them clearer and more coherent. One such piece, written on a single, separate sheet of A4, is most relevant to me at the moment. I think it must have been written as Eamonn was approaching the end of his life.

"Reflections

Purpose of life is more than survival which seems just on the margin. It is to do well - to flourish. This could be put - to live well and leave it with grace. 

Living well: is no longer the struggle to wrench the neccesities of life from the earth.

Survival/flourishing: implies relishing our experiences and learn from them and from the experiences of our fellows reconded in our culture."

I really miss this sort of conversation that Eamonn and I would have at the oddest of times, usually without pre-amble when out walking the dog.

With the arrival of an effective vaccine against Covid-19, here's hoping 2021 will be a better year for all of us in following the purpose of our lives. I know I wouldn't be here to celebrate Christmas (even if it must be, alone) if it weren't for the kindness, support, and love of family and friends. The one positive thing to come out of 2021, for me, is the re-kindling of old friendships, and the renewal of family ties, both on and off-line. I thank you all.