Losing a soulmate

When I first met Eamonn, we started as we meant to go on - discussing anything and everything. He asked me to promise never to stop talking to him. As the years passed, I understood why he asked. 

If soulmates do exist, they're not found, they're made. People meet, they get a good feeling, and they get to work building a relationship.

I've almost finished watching The Good Place. At first, I was sceptical that an American Comedy series had anything to teach me.

Throughout the four Seasons, I was in turn irritated (by the number of reboots), entertained, and reminded of the loss  of my Soulmate.

I used to discuss novels and films/TV I'd watched with Eamonn and it usually led to some sort of philosophical debate. He would often ask me "What did you learn from that novel?" At first I didn't have an answer, but, as the years rolled by, I came to see that I didn't actually learn anything new. Rather, my views on what makes humans tick were affirmed through a fictional medium.

I feel the need to share my impressions of The Good Place. In Eamonn's absence, I have bought two kindle books.

1. The Good Place and Philopsophy

2. The Forking Trolley

One of the themes of the TV Series is that of the nature of time. Throughout my life, I have been a great worrier of 'what happens next', always making plans for the future, which never quite matched up in reality to the anticipation - a bit like Christmas. Eamonn, on the other hand, tried to live in the now, particularly in his final years. 

In the Series, one of the main characters, Chidi, a philosophy and ethics professor, says "What if we don't worry about what happens next. .......... There is only one time that is important; now"

Part of my habit of taking candid photographs is the attempt to capture the now. Last year's Photo-journal for Eamonn, brought back the nows that happened in the 50 years we were together; the little things that, collectively, made us soulmates. 

True friends (soulmates) don’t spend time gazing into each other’s eyes. They may show great tenderness towards each other but they face in the same direction - toward common projects, goals - above all, towards a common purpose of life.

The Good Place reminds me of the numerous times when talking with Eamonn would resemble a philosophy tutorial. Most times he would be the tutor, bringing all his experience of studying with the Dominicans to elucidate his points. At other times, he would ask me to lead with examples from Literature, poetry, history, and even film and TV.

I miss those discussions. Trying to live in the now, I am very aware that I have to move forward to the life of the new me, the new self which is based on all the selves I was in my life before and with Eamonn. The idea of self is one that fascinates me. Eamonn and I agreed that, unlike those who went off to 'find themselves', there is no 'true, finished me' to find; rather, me is an ever-changing thing, dependent on time and experience. Eamonn once wrote that "the gallowglass in me, found redemption amongst you" - he was talking about his time at QE and how being the Head of a School with so much history had made him a 'better' man. 

Watch this space.